JERSEY WRONG

I won a contest for a free gym membership and told them to cram the prize up the corporate anus.
18

MARK

A Schizophrenic's tale about dinosaurs, Hitler and time travel
6

Greetings from Asbury Park after dark

Deflowering the Flower City of the Garden State
19

PLOWED

Trapped inside with old folks during a blizzard
13

A Christmas Story

Girl takes a shit on my ego in the spirit of Ole Saint Nick
23

How riding a bicycle can turn you into a baboon

How riding a bike can turn you into a blood thirsty, wild animal
3

Dear Garry

I ate my friends chocolate bunny and now I feel pretty bad about it
1

OH

A story about asking a girl out and accepting the outcome.
7

How a DUI turned my friend into a zombie

My friend Dave lost his license a second time and immediately turned into a zombie.
5

Fern Bright

Some kids can't have sugar
11

Peeping Toms

Little boys see life-changing event
6

Olga’s Potato

A boy's first explanation of the vagina
9

Life in Shorts

Sometimes briefs are better

Way It Is

Ryan Wetter | Post Comment

Roughly 3 minutes and 3 seconds into Bruce Hornsby’s The Way It Is, Bruce whispers “that’s just the way it is.” So did I. But since I was wearing headphones, I said it out loud to the amusement of 3 men sitting beside me.

Damp Nasty

Ryan Wetter | Post Comment

My sister’s hair is wet at breakfast. “Don’t go outside like that,” says my grandfather, “It’s damp nasty out!” What a perfect name for a female rap artist. I imagine her as the Ol’ Dirty Bastard of Skeezers.

Babysit

Ryan Wetter | Post Comment

I’m in line at Marshalls when the woman next to me leaves her elderly mother with the cashier. “Don’t worry,” says the cashier, “I’ll babysit!” I imagined myself in her chair. Every wrinkle earned with age. And now she has to put up with this shit.