Roughly 3 minutes and 3 seconds into Bruce Hornsby’s The Way It Is, Bruce whispers “that’s just the way it is.” So did I. But since I was wearing headphones, I said it out loud to the amusement of 3 men sitting beside me.
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My Roommate’s Food
My one roommate almost always forgets about her food. She’ll make tacos and there will be three leftovers and if no one eats them, they will stay in the fridge until the smell draws someone in to throw them away. So I pretty much eat everything she puts in the fridge the second she’s done. Its amazing. It took me a while to figure this out, but after 5 or 6 trays of moldy sweet potato pie or ground taco turkey with guacamole, I figured it out. Life has never been better.
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Sometimes briefs are better
My sister’s hair is wet at breakfast. “Don’t go outside like that,” says my grandfather, “It’s damp nasty out!” What a perfect name for a female rap artist. I imagine her as the Ol’ Dirty Bastard of Skeezers.
I’m in line at Marshalls when the woman next to me leaves her elderly mother with the cashier. “Don’t worry,” says the cashier, “I’ll babysit!” I imagined myself in her chair. Every wrinkle earned with age. And now she has to put up with this shit.
Comments
May 01 at 10:54 PM
Is the food good? if so..can i get her digits…??
Dec 03 at 12:07 AM
So I pretty much eat everything she puts in the fridge the second she’s done.curly lace front wigs