Short by Ryan Wetter April 06, 2010 Post Comment
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Man in the Mirror

I was at the library today when I saw him through a glass door. He was a small-statured, late 20-something-year-old dressed like a dirty college student. In that instant, I thought to myself, “What a douchebag.” When I stood up, so did he… for he was me. I was looking at my reflection. Ryan - 0, Life - 1.

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Sometimes briefs are better

Way It Is

Ryan Wetter | Post Comment

Roughly 3 minutes and 3 seconds into Bruce Hornsby’s The Way It Is, Bruce whispers “that’s just the way it is.” So did I. But since I was wearing headphones, I said it out loud to the amusement of 3 men sitting beside me.

Damp Nasty

Ryan Wetter | Post Comment

My sister’s hair is wet at breakfast. “Don’t go outside like that,” says my grandfather, “It’s damp nasty out!” What a perfect name for a female rap artist. I imagine her as the Ol’ Dirty Bastard of Skeezers.

Babysit

Ryan Wetter | Post Comment

I’m in line at Marshalls when the woman next to me leaves her elderly mother with the cashier. “Don’t worry,” says the cashier, “I’ll babysit!” I imagined myself in her chair. Every wrinkle earned with age. And now she has to put up with this shit.