Roughly 3 minutes and 3 seconds into Bruce Hornsby’s The Way It Is, Bruce whispers “that’s just the way it is.” So did I. But since I was wearing headphones, I said it out loud to the amusement of 3 men sitting beside me.
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Hairy Knuckle Sandwich
I ordered a sub from a sandwich shop. The guy behind the counter making the sandwich was not wearing gloves. As he put on the seasonings and spices, I could see the lettuce between his fingernails. His hairy knuckles glided through the onions. When he was all done with the sandwich, I didn’t say anything. I just took the sandwich with me. When I got home, I gave it to my brother, who won a bet and made me go out and get him a sub in the first place. Bon appetite.
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Sometimes briefs are better
My sister’s hair is wet at breakfast. “Don’t go outside like that,” says my grandfather, “It’s damp nasty out!” What a perfect name for a female rap artist. I imagine her as the Ol’ Dirty Bastard of Skeezers.
I’m in line at Marshalls when the woman next to me leaves her elderly mother with the cashier. “Don’t worry,” says the cashier, “I’ll babysit!” I imagined myself in her chair. Every wrinkle earned with age. And now she has to put up with this shit.
Comments
Dec 10 at 09:12 AM
Zing
Dec 10 at 09:14 AM
did you order extra finger cheese?
Dec 10 at 09:16 AM
i’d have it no other way. if he had gloves on i’d ask him to take em off and rub his hands inside my sub sandwich
Feb 05 at 12:06 PM
ryan, is this sandwich from where i think its from??
Nov 30 at 11:18 PM
When I got home, I gave it to my brother, who won a bet and made me go out and get him a sub in the first place. Bon appetite. curly lace front wigs