Roughly 3 minutes and 3 seconds into Bruce Hornsby’s The Way It Is, Bruce whispers “that’s just the way it is.” So did I. But since I was wearing headphones, I said it out loud to the amusement of 3 men sitting beside me.
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Bricktop
I was walking the beach two days ago with my dogs. As we made our way down the coast, I wondered when my life was going to be marvelous again. Being a tad superstitious, I came up with one of those strange situations in my head and said to myself, “If I can toss this rock just past the whitewater, then everything was going to be OK starting tomorrow morning.” I decided to throw the brick-shaped rock like a hook shot but didn’t extend my arm long enough. I smashed the rock directly into my skull and had to lay on the cold beach for 10 minutes until the nausea and confusion subsided.
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Sometimes briefs are better
My sister’s hair is wet at breakfast. “Don’t go outside like that,” says my grandfather, “It’s damp nasty out!” What a perfect name for a female rap artist. I imagine her as the Ol’ Dirty Bastard of Skeezers.
I’m in line at Marshalls when the woman next to me leaves her elderly mother with the cashier. “Don’t worry,” says the cashier, “I’ll babysit!” I imagined myself in her chair. Every wrinkle earned with age. And now she has to put up with this shit.
Comments
Dec 03 at 08:26 AM
haha is this a true story?
Dec 03 at 08:31 AM
Yes. This happened on Darlington. And when I came to, my dog was waiting for me, and the other dog ran back to the car.
Dec 03 at 09:01 AM
hahahahahahahaha in some countries severely injuring your own skull is considered good luck
Dec 01 at 11:53 PM
I smashed the rock directly into my skull and had to lay on the cold beach for 10 minutes until the nausea and confusion subsided. curly lace front wigs