my monster

a child's misinterpretation of Down Syndrome

Written By Ryan Wetter April 02, 2011 8 Comments

Previously

PLOWED

Trapped inside with old folks during a blizzard
13

Teenage Mutant Ninja Ellynn

Child abuser gets what he deserves at Toys "R" Us
43

Life in Shorts

Sometimes briefs are better

Rocky Start

Ryan Wetter | Post Comment

I’m visiting a friend in South Philadelphia. “I just don’t get it,” he says while giving me the grand tour. Two floors, full kitchen, big bedrooms - I couldn’t believe how cheap their rent is. Until I woke up thirsty, went to the kitchen, turned on the light and found the cockroach hoard & wild insect kingdom. Yo Adrian, I get it.

I’m driving with my cousin and she pokes my facial hair, wondering - as many 11 year olds do - about the relationship between mustaches & beards. “What’s it called when the mustache connects to your beard?” she asks. “Awesome,” I answer, “it’s called awesome.”

Looks Like

Ryan Wetter | 2 Comments

I’m on an airplane. A few rows in front of me, a heavyset man was speaking a foreign language. I fixated on the back of his neck. Every turn of his head created tiny speed-bumps of gelatinous skin. The back of his neck looked like something I’ve been looking at for years. Then I thought about Kenny Loggins and it all made sense.